Reading through 'The Guardian' football transfer rumours is quite comical at times but this post today really made me laugh. I won't bother putting any opinions on this one myself because I'm completely lost for words how The Guardian, maybe the best internet blog site for sport there is (in my opinion) can even post this onto their website.
So read on and try and keep a straight face if you can!
Meanwhile, at White Hart Lane, Harry Redknapp risks coming to blows with his former assistant, Tony Pulis. The pair are both trying to lure Nice striker Loïc Rémy, who has given a strong hint as to which he finds more attractive by admitting: "I visited [Stoke] with my agent but it must be said it's not a club in keeping with what I wanted. They have a beautiful stadium all the same and the training facilities aren't bad. Tottenham? I haven't been there but it's a good club with aspirations of getting even bigger. So they are obviously interesting."
Pulis will console himself over Rémy's rejection by attempting to convince Sevilla's Luís Fabiano, formerly a target of Spurs, to turn down Marseille and come to the beautiful Britannia instead. And if that doesn't work, Pulis will swallow his pride and just ask Redknapp to give him Peter Crouch.
You've heard the one about James Milner going to Manchester, right?
Wrong! Because you thought he was heading to City, but the word on the street now is that it's United who will nab him in the end. And when that sale goes through for a preposterous amount of money, Martin O'Neill will have a few million more ways to persuade Steven Pienaar to swap Everton for Aston Villa. Serie A side Palermo, meanwhile, want to prise Leon Osman away from Goodison Park.
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